Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Advice: How To Deal with Family Member's Misplaced Blame

Fucking horrible day. The last two days seemed unimportant, so I skipped them, but today. Jesus. It started with a full hour and a half of intense physical therapy with Mr. “I want it to hurt!!” Mom drove me to work afterwards despite my exhaustion. On the way there, she went further than she’s gone before by flat-out saying that I could’ve prevented my surgery if I had just worked harder and done more (completely untrue, as my calf muscles were physically too short, hence the gastroc LENGTHENING) and why does she have to pay for my laziness? Apparently I took the easy way out?? Even though multiple doctors have suggested this procedure starting as early as when I was 8 years old, and she flat out refused to acknowledge it as a viable option. Subjected me to 12 years of fruitless therapy. So when I turned 18 and got medical consent, after suffering from compressed discs, constant pain, weak ankles that constantly caused me to trip, bad knees, etc, and when ONE OF THE BEST CP DOCTORS IN THE COUNTRY told me it was only going to get worse, you fucking BET I went for the only foreseeable solution. If my own mother blames me for my disability, what am I supposed to do? That’s not a rhetorical, I really need help here.


That sounds awful. I’m sorry.
What are you supposed to do? Don’t disregard your own feelings. Find some way to safely express yourself. Surround yourself with people who affirm you and love you for who you are. Also, recognize that your mom’s reaction is about her, not about you. You were doing what was best for you, when your mom for whatever reason, wouldn’t or couldn’t. You did what was right for you, and that’s the thing to remember.

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