Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Advice: Worried About Leaving Sister With CP

There is 31 days until My sister and I move. And I am getting worried about leaving behind my [other] sister. She has cerebral palsy and the mental ability of a 3 year old.
I am so scared she will hate me. I am so scared she won’t get as much attention as [we] give her. I’m scared she’ll hit and scream at ppl when they try to care for her when we rnt there. I am scared that she will begin to not care that I’m gone the way she stopped asking for my stepdad when he moved out and now she barely acknowledges him when he’s here.
I know that I cannot hold back my life to be near her. I know I need to go to college and enjoy my life. I’m also afraid I will be ok without her. And will fail to think or worry about her.

My biggest advice to you is, focus on what you CAN control.

Have you talked to your sister about the fact that you’re moving? Having CP doesn’t negate the fact that she will likely handle the separation better if she is prepared.

Talk to her about moving. Share about where you’re going. Show her pictures.

Talk to her about all the ways you can keep in touch.

Take pictures of yourself and your sister who are moving for your sister who is staying home to keep in her room. Maybe frame them, and let her keep them somewhere she has access to them.

If you don’t have something like Skype, maybe make a point to get something like it, so that she can have the chance to see both of you and still feel connected.

Send her things in the mail. Everyone loves getting packages. So, draw her pictures, or take pictures of yourselves. You can include addressed and stamped envelopes back to you. Encourage her to send you something back.

Read books about moving, and emphasize that you will be back. Maybe find a calender that she can tear off a piece of paper every day, so she has a representation of when you’ll be back.

Keep track of any special days, and be sure to get in touch on those days, especially if you can’t get home to see her. (Birthday, any other significant event.)

The most important thing is to talk to her about your move. Don’t just leave. Despite her ability or what she appears to understand, you are very important in her life. She deserves to know what’s going on. 

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