tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4060372686205861977.post8111239277408659049..comments2024-03-26T05:32:30.698-05:00Comments on Tonia Says: How a Parent's Response to Ableism Can Impact Their ChildTonia Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406280143637741965noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4060372686205861977.post-70405679392025717162021-02-03T21:10:21.956-06:002021-02-03T21:10:21.956-06:00It's hard to know. We can hope, though.It's hard to know. We can hope, though.Tonia Sayshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11406280143637741965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4060372686205861977.post-29423749447598305792021-02-03T13:52:05.886-06:002021-02-03T13:52:05.886-06:00Yes, that's what I was meaning to imply. My po...Yes, that's what I was meaning to imply. My point was that, at that age, kids' comments don't generally originate on their own when it comes to experiences and people they don't encounter on a regular basis, so his interpretation was likely based on what he saw or heard from people around him. I was suggesting that I hope your mom's response served as a lesson for him, that he could incorporate into any future situations where he would otherwise make a similar assumption or comment. ~asm~https://www.blogger.com/profile/10399597613258793493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4060372686205861977.post-85597436969364024022021-01-26T20:36:13.250-06:002021-01-26T20:36:13.250-06:00The other child was basically a stranger. I hadn&...The other child was basically a stranger. I hadn't interacted with him previously, so I don't know where his assumptions originated.Tonia Sayshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11406280143637741965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4060372686205861977.post-78137581623095884472021-01-26T17:26:00.820-06:002021-01-26T17:26:00.820-06:00I think it was great that your mom handled the sit...I think it was great that your mom handled the situation so calmly -- making it a teachable moment for the boy that, hopefully, he carried with him into future interactions. Kids are so much a product of the environments they come from -- whether his prior understanding was based in rude assumptions or ignorance, it's hard to say from your anecdote, but I'm grateful that your mom responded as she did, and that you also felt comforted by her private frustration with the interaction. ~asm~https://www.blogger.com/profile/10399597613258793493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4060372686205861977.post-58563348788036381502016-04-05T14:20:41.481-05:002016-04-05T14:20:41.481-05:00Mary Evelyn,
It's obviously not the same for ...Mary Evelyn,<br /><br />It's obviously not the same for every child, but for me, it helped to know I was not alone with my feelings. For so long, it felt like, maybe my upset over these types of comments was an overreaction, but seeing my mom had similar feelings let me know that my own were valid and that I had value as a human being. (Difficult to articulate these feelings as a fifth grader, but it is somewhat easier to do so now.) <br /><br />So, no, I don't think it will make your child an angry person. Knowing that you are worth getting angry over is important, I think. Given the right circumstances, I think it's okay to share your anger about mistreatment your child endures.Tonia Sayshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11406280143637741965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4060372686205861977.post-42354661291042587242016-04-05T10:33:11.115-05:002016-04-05T10:33:11.115-05:00Really appreciated this post. It's so hard as ...Really appreciated this post. It's so hard as a parent to strike a balance between appropriate anger in defense of your child and not jumping to anger in a way that makes your child feel either a) embarrassed or b) that they should be looking for mistreatment even where it doesn't exist. It's hard but it helps me to know that if my child sees or hears me being upset over mistreatment of him (or incorrect assumptions about him) that it won't make him an angry person. I think it's good for kids to know that their parents are human-- we also feel the same feelings of anger and frustration that our children do.<br />(This is Mary Evelyn, BTW-- It wouldn't let me log in to post!)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com