Where to Find Disabled Dolls (and other toys for disabled kids)

206 words

2 minute read

I was just reading a post online about how much someone wanted a disabled doll when they were growing up.  I can relate to that sentiment, and I often had to get creative with my dolls, as a child, to replicate disabilities.

The Pattycake Doll Company has a small collection of multicultural dolls and toys for kids with disabilities, including:

- dolls with Down Syndrome
- adaptive equipment for dolls (wheelchairs, a walker, crutches and a guide dog)
- other toys for kids with disabilities
- dolls that fit in toy wheelchairs and walkers
- animated and musical toys
- anatomically correct toys (to teach good and bad touch)
- learn to dress and activity dolls
- Sesame Street and familiar character dolls

There's also a great Roundup of Dolls with Disabilities at Thingamababy.com, which includes some of the above multicultural dolls and includes:

- dolls with prostheses
- dolls undergoing chemotherapy
- dolls going to physical therapy
- dolls with hearing aids
- dolls with a cane and seeing eye dog
- dolls with braces and Canadian crutches
- dolls with wheelchairs
- dolls with walkers
- dolls with protective helmets
- more dolls with Down Syndrome

American Girl Dolls also embrace disability and difference with wheelchairs and hearing aids (and more.)

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I Will Never Understand

189 words

2 minute read

I will never understand how blog posts like When a Cashier Reminded Me My Son Has Down Syndrome garner such a universally positive response.  All I see when I read the cashier's ableist remark is the mother's horrifying reply (which I will not post here because it's too awful) in front of her 2-year-old child no less.  And then?  The ableism of this cashier and people like her is excused by the mother who says "It's not their fault.  They just don't know."

We cannot think it's okay to speak the way this mother did, in front of her child or not, in jest or not.  Because disabled children are being killed by their parents.  In 2014.  Just within the last month, I have learned about five recently murdered children (Olivia, Ben and Max Clarence, Nancy Fitzmaurice and earlier this month London McCabe.)

Why is this mother being praised for making such a horrifying remark?  For "using her wit" as she claims to have done?  Why are so many oblivious to the harm posts like these are causing?

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Dr. Drew on Call: London McCabe

356 words

3 minute read

"A desperation that this mom had in terms of the overwhelming responsibility of caring for two disabled people in her family." - Dr. Judy Ho, psychologist

"I think this was, actually, a kind, devoted mother who was trying her best to deal with these mounting stressors between her husband and her son.  She was reaching out." - Erica America, psychotherapist.

"The stress of what she was going through could have made her so desperate to get rid of something she could no longer take care of...and that's her son." - Dr. Judy Ho, psychologist

I only managed to catch the last four minutes of the segment of Dr. Drew on Call.  I did not know it was possible to feel so offended in so short a time.  Long story short?  From what I could gather, the segment centered around the mother (who killed her autistic son by throwing him off a bridge Monday) and how we should all feel sympathy for her.  I didn't hear London's name mentioned in the final minutes of the program.  In fact, there was very little reference to him at all.

Except in extremely dehumanizing and damaging ways.  He was identified as "an overwhelming responsibility," "a stressor" and, most disturbing "something she could no longer take care of."  London McCabe, was a six year old little boy, a kindergartener,  London McCabe was a human being.

He was not an object to get rid of.  London was a human being.  His mother was not the victim here.  Whatever her problems, she was the adult.  London was a child.  And I beg to differ with the sentiment expressed on the segment that this mother was "doing her best."  A mother's best does not include killing her own child.

Dr. Drew urged the audience that one of the takeaways from this situation should be that "stigma [around mental illness] kills" but I would challenge him on that as well.  Based on everything the panel had to say, and how the mother sought help for herself, the issue was not stigma.

Stigma does not kill.  Ableism kills.

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Another Precious Life Taken: London McCabe

51 words

0.4 minute read

Six-year-old London McCabe, who was Autistic, was thrown off a bridge in Oregon by his mother.

Such terrible news.  I grieve for this child and so many other disabled kids who have been killed by their own parents or caregivers.

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Heard Whilst Disabled

576 words

4 minute read

#heardwhilstdisabled is another discussion going on (primarily on Twitter) where disabled people are going public with the kinds of comments we hear too often.  Thought I'd add some of the things I have heard.  Check out the Twitter hashtag for more.

- "It's a shame she's in a wheelchair!  She's so pretty!" (said to my sister about me)

- "You're so brave!"  (when I'm seen in a public place)

- "You're doing great!" (walking in my own apartment building)

- "You know you won't be able to earn ribbons on Track and Field Day like all the other kids, don't you?  But you can earn red, yellow, or blue stickers!"

- "You're an ishy retard!"

- "God is going to heal you!"

- "Don't you want to be healed?"

- "God has already healed you.  Your lack of faith is the reason it has not come to pass." (after having my crutches taken and walking back and forth with a pastor who kept trying to let go of my hands.)

- "I'm so glad you'll be able to walk, just like everyone else!" (written in a Get Well card in 5th grade after I had surgery for my CP.  It didn't make me walk like everyone else.)

- "Can you walk at all?  Not even if I hold your hands?"

- "I just love watching you!  You're so inspirational!"

- "Can I pray for your legs?"

- "I refuse to stand with you under the lies you're believing." (because PTSD is apparently a lie.)

- "Yeah, you run, cripple!"

- "Why can't you just push it across the floor?" (when I asked for help carrying my plate to the table.

- "It's funny!" (to intentionally trigger my startle reflex)

- "Well, we're in a rush tonight, so we're just going to run out quickly with the other kids to do Christmas shopping."

- "There!  Just the top part of you!  No crutches or anything!  It's better that way, isn't it?" (being videotaped as a child)

- "She's so cute!"

- "Make way for the princess!"

- "As the disabled person, you have the ability and decision to decide how to approach situations. Angry or able to put things into perspective. Able to decide when someone is being invasive as opposed to curious. Approach this type of recurring situation with some intelligence and dignity rather than coming across like some sort of angry disabled person." (about able-bodied people feeling entitled to ask invasive questions of disabled people.)

- "She goes so slow!"

- "You have more of a right than anyone else to be here."

- "We don't have a place for you here.  The only place available is under the bleachers."

- "If you just try, maybe you can walk!"

- "Half the kids on this team.  Half the kids on this team.  ...You can be the scorekeeper."

- "I was going to call you to come and hang out this weekend, but we were jumping on the trampoline and I didn't want you to feel left out."

- "I feel so bad for you."

- "She has a DISEASE!"

- "Hurry up.  I hate having to wait for you."

- "We don't have room for your wheelchair."

- "You have to work twice as hard as everyone else to get a job."

- "You should take your wheelchair when you go in for an application.  It makes you look more competent than when you walk with your crutches."

- "Hey, Wheels!  How are you?"

- "Are you in a race?  Did I miss the Indianapolis 500?"

- "She can TALK?"

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On Nancy Fitzmaurice

185 words

1 minute read

Earlier this month, I wrote about my feelings regarding a UK mother who admitted to killing her three disabled kids but would not face a murder trial.  Now?  Headlines are talking about a 12-year-old girl, whose mother fought for the legal right to withdraw food and fluids, thereby ending her daughter's life.  The mother was granted that right by a High Court judge.  So, though Nancy Fitzmaurice was not terminally ill, was not on life support, and could not consent being a minor child there is now legal precedent in the UK for the killing of disabled children, rather than finding ways to treat inadequate pain management.

This is absolutely chilling, and so is the way Nancy Fitzmaurice's death is being covered in the press.  Again, all the sympathy and mercy is going to this mother, who described her in her last weeks as "no longer my daughter" and "just a shell."

For more a more comprehensive look at why this is entirely disturbing, please read ASAN Statement on the Killing of Nancy Fitzmaurice.

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Question: Representation of Disability in the Media

538 words

4 minute read

I have to make a presentation about representation of disability in the media and was wondering if any of my lovely followers who have a disability - mental or physical - could send me a quick message about how you feel regarding how the media portrays it?? It can be specific to your disability or more general, but it would be really helpful :) thanks!!

First, check out Tonia's Big List of Resources for Learning About Disabilities for examples of positive media representation.  

As far as negative media representation, I'd say Glee.  I'm a Glee fan, but their disability representation is really awful.  The one disabled character who has been there from the beginning is portrayed by an able-bodied actor, the character is constantly lamenting his lack of "normalcy."  He used to be completely excluded from musical numbers.  And he's often the butt of "jokes" that are supposed to be funny, but in no way are.  He gets called dehumanizing names by the staff (and refers to himself in those terms.)  And he has dream sequences at least once a season where he can get up out of his chair and start dancing.  He has completely unrealistic ideas about his injury and recovery, and just wallows in self-pity all the time.  His character has a spinal cord injury and uses a wheelchair.  (I have Cerebral Palsy, and use a wheelchair.)

Another one would have been the remake of Ironside from 2013.  Another character with a spinal cord injury who  was portrayed by an able-bodied actor, angry all the time at his injury, and he didn't use a wheelchair the way wheelchair users do.  He used it the way able-bodied people would.  It just seemed awkward.

The thing you come away with watching TV with an eye toward representation of people with physical disabilities is that we rarely, if ever, actually see ourselves in these roles.  (Or in other words, able bodied actors are cast to play the parts of characters with physical disabilities.)  Not only that, but we also deal with whatever the writers' prejudices are toward people with disabilities being perpetuated on screen, because there's no one to speak against them.  There's no one to tell them, people in wheelchairs don't sit like this, or move like this, or refer to themselves as muppets.  If they get discriminated against, in terms of school and accessibility, that's a violation of the ADA and you can't fix it with a bake sale.  At the very least, that character's parents should have come to school and stood up for their kid.

Also, I've almost never read a book with a disabled protagonist.  Most of the books I see written with disabled main characters are written by able-bodied authors, so they, too, are missing an authentic voice.  Or we are meant to sympathize with an able-bodied character's journey, as they "have to" work at a camp for disabled kids.  We're told her prejudices are okay because they're "real" or because the author has a kid with a disability.

Feel free to check out my representation matters tag for more on this!  And if you have any more questions, please let me know!

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