Sister Date

334 words

3 minute read

Yesterday was a pretty amazing day.  My sis and I got up early and I went with her to work at a local store, where I browsed while she opened.

The walk/roll there was so lovely.  No traffic because of the holiday weekend.  Blue sky.  50-some degrees.  (That's warm where we live.)  Just all kinds of perfect.

Kind of like this:

[Image is a road with a blue sky, fog, a tree and a painted red house in the distance.]

I spent a couple hours looking at stuff and then Tara and I met up.  We did our shopping.  We stopped for coffee and hot chocolate on the way home.  And shared a delicious bagel with sesame seeds.

What was my favorite part?

Just talking to each other.

Just being together.

My favorite part was that - for once - no one said anything ableist.  Everyone's spontaneous, warm, "Good mornings" made me feel human.  Offers of help were genuine.  Not overblown.  Not steeped in pity.  The barista matter-of-factly asking if I wanted whipped cream on my drink and later telling me she "tried to make a heart out of the foam" made me feel human.

Being treated like a human being in public should not be rare or blog post worthy.  But it is, because I so rarely get the opportunity to come home feeling affirmed.  Feeling valued.  Feeling human.

My favorite part was that my sis wanted me with her yesterday.  And when I finally figured out logistics and agreed that of course I wanted to go with her and have a sister date - that I was glad she invited me with her, she said, "I always want you with me."

Is it such a big deal to be wanted?

To be treated with dignity?

For some of us, it is.

For some of us, it's the biggest deal.

And all those things made spending time with my favorite person that much more special.

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Update

305 words

2 minute read

I thought it was about time for an update.

I took an unexpected blogging hiatus but connecting with a new friend with CP has let me know just how needed all of our blogs and experiences are.

The blogging hiatus afforded me lots of time to write National Novel Writing Month novels (in both November and April), post my thoughts on season 4B's The Fosters episodes (with Tara) and discover scary new shows like Stranger Things - which I like, even though Startle Reflex means we have to watch all the monster parts on mute!

Tara and me, twinning hardcore.  December, 2016

It's been so great to be able to have connections to the disability community.  If it's our bestie, who we can count on to rant to about CP-related things, or our other bestie, whose middle child has CP and calls us "her role models," those connections are so important.

Because when you've got friends who drop everything to come and get you in an ice storm?  Friends whose daughter has the same Startle Reflex that you do, and she (and your sis) both startle in tandem, while watching Finding Dory?  Friends' whose youngest daughter, took one look at Greenie and said emphatically, "I like that!  I like it!"...?  It matters.

When you have friends who are as excited about a novel you are writing that they read along?  And comment to every chapter?  And when you least expect it, they gift you with the most amazing companion journal complete with excerpts and corresponding pictures (even homemade silhouettes of a character who is not pictured anywhere...and they even make sure that that character's CP is visible in her stance...)  It matters.

As Meredith Grey would say, "You find your people...and you stay with them."

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