1,216 words
9 minute read
TW: GIF warning / discussion of sex and of sexual assault / spoilers for Bridgerton
I'm five episodes into Bridgerton and was warned today about the sixth.
I'm so massively disappointed. In fact, I have zero idea how anyone is expected to continue to root for the "romance" and / or the "love story" between these two characters, given what I now know about what transpires.
Up until now, I've been loving Rege-Jean Page as the Duke of Hastings, all his fancy clothes (seriously check out this jacket) and his perfect style when dismounting his horse.
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| [Image: GIF of Rege-Jean Page in a glorious wine-colored jacket as the Duke of Hastings in Bridgerton] |
Tara and I are huge fans of Rege-Jean Page. We've watched him in 2016's ROOTS and then the short-lived series For the People. He's dazzled us as The Duke of Hastings and we've so enjoyed his portrayal.
Last night, Tara warned me about an impending sexual assault on Bridgerton in the next episode. Today, after seeing a comment I made on Twitter, where I enthused about the show, Tara had to tell me what happened when she pre-watched episode six.
I was in no way expecting it when Tara said:
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Simon Bassett, born to an abusive father, who disowned him for a severe stutter as a child, has promised his father on his deathbed that he would never have children. He has informed Daphne of this, saying, "I cannot give you children," and was even preparing to die in a duel rather than marry Daphne, knowing children would not be in their future.
Daphne chooses to marry him anyway.
In episode six, Simon and Daphne are consummating their union in every room of their mansion. In the midst of this episode, Daphne notices Simon's habit of pulling out early during sex and asks her maid about it. She realizes (after the maid presumably informs her) that this is Simon's way of preventing conception.
So, in the last ten minutes of the episode, they are, again consummating their marriage. Daphne's had time to mull this over. And they begin, with Simon on top, until Daphne very intentionally flips them.
She is now on top, astride Simon, and he can't pull out. She has a hand on his chest and a cold look on her face even as he says: "Wait. Wait." Under such stress, his ability to communicate is affected.
Daphne does not wait.
She keeps him there until she is finished and only then does she allow him to move, getting up and walking away.
***
Afterward, Simon's stutter is noticeably present as he asks: "Daphne. What did you do?"
She says: "You lied to me. You seized an opportunity and so I did the very same!"
Simon tells her, "I told you I cannot give you children."
Still, Daphne persists in telling Simon, "You lied to me. ...Do you know I even felt pity for you?"
Simon pushes back: "I never asked for your pity."
And Daphne insists, "And I never asked for your betrayal! You do not lie to the one you love! You do not trick the one you love! You do not humiliate the one you love!"
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Needless to say, if anybody's thinking about watching the series, take care, especially with regard to this episode.
While representation like this may be historically (and otherwise) accurate? Hearing that it's brushed past on the series is really damaging, and hearing a character's abusive act justified as "character development" by a male showrunner is just plain irresponsible.
Yes, abusers do capitalize on disabled folx's disabilities. When they victimize us, they also capitalize on our various disabilities and how those might impact our ability to get help.
We are more abused (by far) and less believed, because we are disabled.
But it does not help survivors of abuse (disabled or not) to have the notion that we are somehow responsible for the way abusers treat us.
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There are a lot of things represented here: spousal / marital rape. Female abusers. Male victims. This is also a crime perpetrated by a white woman against her Black husband.
No matter what Simon's reasons are for not wanting children - for not feeling that he can have children emotionally? That does not justify Daphne's actions.
And honestly, Daphne's justifying what she's just done? Her claiming victimhood as her own because Simon didn't disclose his own (very personal) reasons for not being emotionally ready to parent? That just hits super close to home as a disabled person who has been abused. Who has been sexually abused. And who has been habitually gaslit about that abuse.
I am all for accurate representation, but accurate representation that consists of spinning a narrative where the victim is blamed for what happens to him?
That is not something I'm here for.
This is a show, yes.
And media is the way the majority of the population learns to treat and how to feel about people in marginalized groups. If a rape goes unacknowledged, unseen, and somehow justified against a multiply marginalized person? This type of representation only helps crimes against so many marginalized people happen again. Because the harm done remains at once invisible and is reinforced as 'reasonable.'
It gives the message: "If I, the person in power, feel slighted, I can overpower."
When the message being given should be, in no uncertain terms:
"No one deserves to be raped. No matter the circumstances. Ever."
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People have urged me over the last week or so to reserve judgement on the show until I have seen the whole thing.
Well, now it's been a week, and I have.
And what I have to say is this:
The end does not justify rape. Nothing justifies rape.
It's no surprise to me that the Duke of Hastings was reluctant to share the details of his vow to his father with Daphne. Her realizing (courtesy of Marina) that Simon might just have a perfectly reasonable explanation for not wanting children could have been a realization she came to without violating her husband. Daphne persisting to meddle in Simon's private business - reading his childhood letters to his father? - is yet another example of how little respect she has for his boundaries.
Daphne's mom speaks to her about how love is a choice...and yes...it is.
It's also a choice to protect oneself. To choose safety. Sometimes that means putting distance between someone who claims to love you, all while they are actively harming you.
And Daphne's speech to Simon about how he's been raised to believe he has to be perfect to be loved, but it's not true?
This would have made for a satisfying resolution had Daphne not already irreparably damaged their trust.
Then, somehow, Simon comes to Daphne and feels like he is somehow in the wrong?
It's gutting.
Because it is so, so familiar.
(Simon apologizes. He is shown being remorseful. Daphne never utters the words I'm sorry.)
Simon becoming a father and happily holding his baby? This does not change the reality that he has endured.
The end does not justify the means here.
Nothing justifies rape.
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I thougtht he could easily roll over and get her off. She is tiny. There is no way he was physically overpowered by her. Imo.
ReplyDeleteHe clearly protested both verbally and nonverbally. He said "wait." She did not wait.
DeleteShe continued after he withdrew consent.
That is what makes it rape.