1,003 words
8 minute read
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query speechless. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query speechless. Sort by date Show all posts
Monday, November 6, 2017
Review: Speechless 2x04 "T-R--TRAINING D-A-DAY"
Monday, November 21, 2016
Let's Talk About Speechless 1x07 "T-H-A-THANKSGIVING"
405 words
3 minute read
Looking forward to spending Thanksgiving with my family this week, and that being said, we need to talk a little about Speechless last week:
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| [Image is: a cartoon turkey looking startled] |
Maya decides to make a game out of the family's annoying quirks. Each takes a family member (while Ray abstains, cooking with Kenneth in the kitchen to avoid family drama) and they are awarded points whenever their family member does the annoying thing they hate most. It turns out that Billy (a dentist) is struggling financially, and the heavy-handed "lesson" of the episode is that "everyone struggles."
JJ was not really in the episode much, except to be danced for by Grandma. He pretends he likes it this year, so that he can get more points in the family game. But truth time? All I could think of was a member of the disabled community who recently shared they were the unwilling recipient of a lap dance, and the whole thing got treated as a joke, even when they reported it. I think this walks a dangerous line.
In the end, in order to recoup money he has lost, Billy trots JJ out for one of his commercials as honest to God inspiration porn. So that Billy's audience can see that he is "real" and has a "real disabled nephew."
So, yeah, not the best episode for me. But I am glad to be back!
What did you think of Speechless last week? Let me know in the comments?
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Monday, October 31, 2016
Let's Talk About Speechless 1x05 H-A-L--HALLOWEEN
524 words
4 minute read
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| [Image is: Lovely orange pumpkins.] |
Though I had a wheelchair by the Halloween I was 8, I never used it to trick-or-treat. I always used my walker instead. And though I had great costumes, my favorite was a rather simple robot costume, because I felt that my walker added to it, rather than detracted from it. So I would have been all about any costume that integrated my adaptive equipment, but I never really got to explore that.
The last year I ever trick-or-treated, I was only 10 years old. Where I lived, the infamous 1991 Halloween blizzard was already dumping snow on my home state but my sister, my brothers and I all still wanted to trick-or-treat. We wore winter gear over our costumes, and my dad carried me to every house. (Thanks, Dad!)
Needless to say, I can't exactly relate to the notion of family Halloween costumes that seamlessly incorporate a wheelchair. Definitely by the time I was the age of the DiMeo kids, Halloween traditions were long past (and no wonder! All that trudging through a blizzard carrying a 10-year-old!) So I was right with them when they made their own plans for the night rather than dressing up in Jimmy's family costume of the year.
JJ wants to go to a party with friends, and basically invites himself over. (Sometimes, you have to be proactive!) His friends say of course he can come, they just weren't sure if he would be able to. He and Kenneth arrive (I'm honestly not sure how JJ gets into the house) and JJ asks for beer. Kenneth is sure he has misspelled "soda" but JJ insists. Finally, he starts asking Kenneth for random things, and asking the kids at the party to give him beer in the moments Kenneth is not around. He gets drunk and ends up "slurring his words" as he tries to spell.
Maya and Jimmy punish him (for the first time!) JJ laughs as he is lectured and Maya is relived that "at least he's a happy drunk!" Ray and Dylan (whose Halloween plans have also gone awry) need help from Mom and Dad respectively, and then lament the fact that it's Halloween and they haven't had any candy. Jimmy says he knows where they can get some, and they dress up in their family Back to the Future costumes (with Kenneth as Stevie Wonder) and try trick-or-treating at 1:45 AM. (I guess JJ's grounding does not officially start until the following day, as he is magically well enough to happily drive the DeLorean costume into the night...)
I liked how this episode showed that JJ is a typical teenager. I really liked how he used his laser pointer to get at Ray when he was angry, and also to get the attention of kids at the party. (You use what you've got!") All in all, a pretty strong episode!
Wednesday, October 5, 2016
Let's Talk About Speechless 1x03: B-O-N--BONFIRE
513 words
4 minute read
In this episode, JJ's classmates (the upperclassmen) are excited about the annual bonfire on the beach, a tradition after the big football game.
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| [Image is: Kids gathered around a fire at the beach at sunset] |
JJ can't go to a bonfire on the beach, since, as anyone who uses a wheelchair knows, chairs and sand don't mix. He makes a joke to the kids at lunch, to hide that not being able to go, actually is a big deal. He goes home, let down, and nods at the flyer in his pocket, which his mom finds and reads. She says "You can't go to this," and then takes it upon herself to talk to the principal, who cancels the bonfire on the beach.
Instead, they have an extremely subpar bonfire in the gym. The kids decide that if they really respect JJ, they'd treat him like anyone else, and be angry that he caused them to miss out on the bonfire. Kenneth says JJ's mom shouldn't interfere but JJ admits later he did want her help. In the end, Mom helps him get his friends back by faking that the opposing football team tied him to a goal post.
My biggest issue is that JJ is seeming more and more like a prop as time goes on. In this episode, he was blatantly used as a "snowplow" to move the family's garbage at their old house. When Mom accidentally leaves off the word "bathroom" from his communication board in favor of words like "Kanye," it's played off as a joke. (Only Mom knows the substitute phrase JJ will use when he needs to use the restroom. This is a huge red flag and a dangerous situation, because Kenneth has made clear he absolutely will always help JJ in this way, but he can't if he doesn't know JJ needs to go.) Kenneth is talking more as his own character, which is fine, in and of itself, but JJ is often left silent in the background. Kenneth takes it upon himself to speak for JJ in situations, but not interpreting what he is saying. More often now, Kenneth is just assuming what JJ might want to say. Not to mention Mom's suggestion for getting JJ's friends back is super objectifying and more than a little worrisome.
I was hopeful that the bonfire could be moved to a location where everyone could attend. Instead, no one got a bonfire and it was made out to be JJ's fault.
Come on, Speechless. I want to keep liking you. But you're making it really hard.
Did you see the episode this week? What were your thoughts?
Monday, November 27, 2017
Review: Speechless 2x05 "N-I--NIGHTMARE ON D-I--DIMEO STREET"
758 words
6 minute read
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| [Image is: a pumpkin-shaped bowl full of candy corn beside jack-o-lantern stencils for eyes and a smile] |
Monday, November 14, 2016
Let's Talk About Speechless 1x06 'D-A-T-E--DATE" (A Guest Post by Tara)
318 words
2 minute read
Hi everyone! I’m Tonia’s sister, Tara. She was so kind as to allow me to review last week’s episode of Speechless, “"D-a-t-e-Date?"
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| [Image is: Several red hearts with black outlines floating in the air] |
Overall, I have really been enjoying this series. And this episode was no exception.
This week, JJ meets an injured gymnast. He immediately notices and disapproves of her red parking placard, signifying her temporary disability. Kenneth urges JJ to give the girl a chance as he is simultaneously implored by a teacher to show his fellow disabled student around. At this point in the show, I’ll admit, I was cringing. (And JJ was too!) The whole “disabled people only date/marry other disabled people” trope is super tired. That said, the storyline played out fairly well. JJ ends up getting to know Gymnast Girl while confronting his own insecurities, and the episode ended with him asking her to watch a movie with him. She accepts genuinely.
I was super happy to see JJ with a personal storyline this week, instead of a storyline that focused solely on accessibility like we’ve seen in the past. However, I will say that the therapy scene tread on some thin ice as far as inspiration porn.
We see Gymnast Girl stand for the first time, after being encouraged and inspired by JJ.
Do disabled people draw strength from each other? Absolutely. The scene does have merit. However, as Gymnast Girl is essentially an injured able-bodied person, having her draw inspiration from JJ - a permanently disabled character - just feels a little gross.
Other highlights?
Dylan gets in trouble at school for destroying a participation trophy. I enjoyed seeing Jimmy guide her through appropriate coping strategies. (I would love to see JJ and Jimmy bond at some point - have we seen this yet?)
What did you think of last week’s episode? Sound off in the comments!
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Connect with Tara here
Saturday, December 31, 2016
Top 5 Posts of 2016
738 words
6 minute read
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| [Image is: Clocks counting down the hours until 2017] |
5. High School Gym Class With a Side of Ableism
Sometimes, I share stories that are just that, stories. Memories I have of significant experiences in my life with CP. Back in April, I shared about one such experience in high school gym class, when we tackled the ominous but brief rock climbing unit.
Cerebral Palsy means that anything that anything physical involves a good deal of both pre planning and motor planning. Having never climbed a wall before, I had no previous experience to serve as a map for just how to make my way up.
4. Let's Talk About Speechless 1x01 "P-I-PILOT"
I really enjoyed recapping the first episode of Speechless. I connected with JJ's character and really loved several of the scenes, which closely mirrored my own life. One, in particular, where JJ's classmates give him a standing ovation for entering the room.
(Think this is over the top? I once had a teacher who said, "Make way for the princess!" whenever I entered her class.) JJ's teacher instantly freaks out when he realizes that (oh my gosh!) JJ can't stand up! "THE STANDING OVATION IS INSENSITIVE!" he screams and all the kids sit down. (Do I have an example for this? You bet. High school Humanities, our zany teacher has all of us stand up to pretend to be archaic statues. Her eyes fall on me, still in my desk, and she says with a look of discomfort and mild alarm says, "Tonia, you don't have to.")
3. Dear Parents Whose Baby Has Just Been Diagnosed With CP
Last year, I wrote a Letter to My Younger Self, and this year, I really wanted to write one to parents whose baby has just been diagnosed with CP. I read a lot of parent blogs, and a baby or child's diagnosis seems like it is universally difficult for parents. I wanted to assure parents that we are okay:
CP does not make your baby one-dimensional, or a monster. CP is not a punishment because you did something or didn't do something. Sometimes, things just happen. Your baby is still your baby, and your baby needs you. They need your love and your acceptance. So, hold them. Read to them. Talk to them. Bond with them. Your baby will feel secure with you, and you will feel even closer to you baby.
2. Let's Talk About the Effects of Consistent Patronization
Something I thought a lot about this year was how being consistently patronized by important adults in my life has shaped me as an adult. Like with most realizations that feel "big", I had a hunch that others might know this feeling that I struggled to even describe with words:
...The lines between a genuine compliment on my actual ability and one that gushed because I did common things had grown blurry. So when a teacher praised my work legitimately, I panicked, because I didn't want something I had put my heart into to be read as the token inspirational piece in the [middle school newspaper].
1. Let's Talk About the Gap Between Disabled Adults and Parents of Kids with Disabilities
Tonia Says serves a dual purpose: first and foremost to let others with CP know they are not alone. Also, though, it exists to attempt to bridge a massive gap that exists between disabled adults and the parents of kids with disabilities. As we are coming from opposite experiences, it's often difficult to see each others points of view. For a long time, I wondered why the gap existed, and this quote, by my friend (and fellow blogger) Ellen Stumbo, really explains things brilliantly:
"You guys are the first generation raised out of institutions. Before that, parents always spoke for you. We had to. There was no other choice. Now, though, you've grown up, and you speak for yourselves. You're the first to ever do that. I don't think we, as parents, are used to it yet."
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Thursday, October 13, 2016
Let's Talk About Speechless 1x04: I-N-S--INSPIRATIONS
527 words
4 minute read
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| [Image is: a long hot dog on a bun with lots of ketchup and mustard] |
While in line for a hot dog, an elderly woman comments that they should not have to wait in line and waves them to the front. Another couple offer to pay for their hot dogs because of how "inspirational" they are together. Thus begins Kenneth's quest to take advantage of as many disability perks as he can. JJ enjoys getting free admittance to a baseball game, and choice seats, and throwing out the first pitch. (He also demands the player's glove.) After all these things, JJ prefers to just enjoy the game, but Kenneth is up singing Take Me Out to the Ballgame to the fans.
Kenneth has more plans and ignores JJ when he says "enough." Not only that, but Kenneth takes JJ's letterboard off his chair for no discernible reason (other than perhaps he does not want to hear that JJ doesn't want to keep getting random freebies.) Kenneth puts the board in a backpack and leaves the bag in the parking lot before driving away.
JJ is rightfully angry and Kenneth figures out belatedly that JJ's board is missing. They find it and JJ tells Kenneth "You took my voice. You don't get to do that." Kenneth promises to never do it again and then lets him drive the van around an empty parking lot.
I was so beyond disappointed in this. First, because it's supposed to be JJ's day. It's supposed to be about what JJ wants. JJ wanted hot dogs from LA. JJ wanted to see a baseball game. Instead, the episode turned into what Kenneth wanted and left JJ to teach him a lesson and then be allowed to do something totally dangerous to make up for it. It's a disservice to JJ but also to Kenneth. It seemed vastly irresponsible and out of character for Kenneth to do something as disrespectful as this.
And I don't know about anyone else but watching the DiMeo's have fun without JJ spoke to every single moment I was hospitalized as a child and was sure that in our absence, my family was off having a great time without me. I understand that JJ was supposedly having fun, too, and it was funny to watch, in moments. The more I watch of the show, though, the more convinced I become that it's not for me. It was clearly made for able-bodied people, by able-bodied people. I'll keep watching because I want to support actors like Micah getting work and representing characters with CP on TV, but I'm going to watch the show without the hope I once held out for it.
Did you watch the episode this week? Share your thoughts below!
Wednesday, June 17, 2020
Interview with Tylia L. Flores
852 words
7 minute read
Today, I'm interviewing author and advocate, Tylia L. Flores!
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TYLIA L. FLORES: I'm a 24-year-old born with Cerebral Palsy. Although my condition has affected my mobility, it has never affected my will and determination to make a difference in the world.
Through my many life challenges and obstacles, I discovered my passion for writing. My goal in life is to share my stories with the world. In doing so, my hopes are to help others with disabilities realize that they, too, have the potential to make their dreams come true.
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| [Image: Tylia smiling at the camera] |
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TS: How are you coping with the state of things in the world lately?
TLF: Thanks for asking. I’m coping pretty well. Still trying to negotiate wearing a mask out in public places, but other than that I’m pretty much okay.
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TS: What’s your go-to self care?
TLF: I do a couple things for self-care. I love to listen to Blake Shelton. I love to read books. Most recently, The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky, which is a book I highly recommend. Last but not least, I love going to the studio and recording my radio show Stomping on CP with positive thoughts.
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TS: What’s your favorite part of the writing process? What do you love about it?
TLF: My favorite part of the writing process is getting to release all my emotions out about an experience that I went through and being able to help others with my stories and passion.
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TS: Do you have a favorite piece that you’ve written? What do you want to share about it?
TLF: Yes, I have one. A favorite piece of mine that I wrote about the ABC sitcom Speechless in its last season for The Mighty… I wrote about what I learned for the episode entitled Planet - where JJ, who has CP - has to film a short film in order to get into college.
The reason I love this piece is because I felt as JJ spoke to me in this episode, and I got to see his growth as a character. Being able to write that article inspired me to write more about my journey and accept my growth as a woman with Cerebral Palsy.
Related: 4 Lessons From the Latest 'Speechless' Episode About Life With a Disability
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TS: Who do you look up to in the writing community? Who inspires you? How do they influence your writing?
TLF: Anne Frank, Jane Austen, Nicholas Sparks, RJ Palacio, Stephen Chbosky, Paul Langan, Edward Bloor and Stephen King. All these authors inspire me to never be afraid of what my creative mind can do.
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TS: As someone who was born to, and raised by teenage parents myself, I'm curious... Where did the idea for your first book originate? What inspired it?
TLF: My friend, Daniel, and his journey.
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TS: Share a little about your history with advocacy:
TLF: I first started advocacy when I was 18-year-old cause that was the age that I learned to love my disability and the person that I was. So I started to write about my CP and advocate for Cerebral Palsy awareness which has very little awareness in our society.
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TS: Do you have an advocacy-related moment that stands out to you? Would you like to share it?
TLF: Yes, I do. Getting the chance to speak at the Cerebral Palsy Awareness Conference in March was an amazing experience and it's the one thing I’m most proud of
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TS: Do you look up to any disability advocate in particular? How have they helped you in your journey?
TLF: Phew! That's a long list!
Just to name a few: Edward Verne Roberts, Larry Allison, Judith Heumann, James LeBrecht, Denise Sherer Jacobson, and Stephen Hofmann. They’ve all inspired me to fight for what I believe in and to keep going cause the world needs my story.
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TS: What does the CP community mean to you?
TLF: The CP community means to me strength equality togetherness. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have them.
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TS: If someone with CP or another disability was considering writing, what advice would you give them?
TLF: I would tell someone with CP looking into writing or considering it just to write your story. Nothing you write is wrong or right.
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TS: If someone with CP or another disability is considering getting involved in advocacy, what would you tell them?
TLF: Go for it! The more people that speak up and share their stories and what matters to them the better!
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TS: What’s next for you?
TLF: What’s next for me is publishing a second book and continuing my advocating for people like me.
TS: Thank you so much, Tylia!
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Saturday, September 10, 2016
Let's Talk About Speechless 1x01 "P-I-PILOT"
1,764 words
14 minute read
If you do not want to be spoiled about the content of the premiere, stop reading now.
In the opening scene, we meet Maya DiMeo (played by the fabulous Minnie Driver.) Mom is a big fan of 50% off breakfast coupons and MUST make a 10-minute-drive in 3 minutes. She drives an impressively large and beat up van. Jimmy DiMeo cautions his wife to evade construction zones and hilariously hands her a cup of hazelnut coffee. He has one of his own and they both sip as she drives. We see tween to young teenage children in the back seat. The boy, Ray, is not excited by Mom's adventurous driving skills but daughter, Dylan, is just as feisty as her mom is and yells at people on the way.
They make it on time and pull into an accessible parking spot, only to be yelled at by a lady about their apparent lack of a "handicapped placard." (Think this never happens in real life? Check out Let's Talk About Accommodation-Policing.) Maya unfolds a ramp from the back of the van and out wheels the fabulous Micah Fowler, who plays oldest son, JJ. (Micah, like his character, also has CP! Hooray, authentic representation!) Mom gives Yelling Lady the what-for and then calls two kids out for gawking and laughing. "These," she says, waving her arms, "need a bit of a tune-up. But he's all there upstairs and he has a thing about staring.
JJ then gives them "the finger." (Actually, he gives them "four fingers" but you try isolating fine motor movements with CP and see how easy it is.) Mom says it's a "work in progress." The family is all surrounding him, all have their arms crossed, ready to take on the world. All of them have his back. It is a beautiful thing.
Next, we see JJ and Ray in a...rather rundown looking house. (Calling it a fixer-upper would be generous. JJ and Ray talk about how bad it sucks and Ray gets blamed for JJ's comment. JJ denies having said it - his face a picture of innocence - and Ray calls him a bully. It is a nice, human moment, where the kid with CP can be (and is) a jerk sometimes, and picks on his brother, and not only the angel people THINK he is.
We find out that Mom has decided to move the family because she has found the perfect school situation for JJ. But this is the kids' sixth school in two years. And the house is a dump. Dad is pretty proud of his house hunting AND money saving skills. (Not mad about the legit depiction, if a bit exaggerated, of just how hard it is to make everything work financially when disability is added to the mix.) In fact, we see all three kids sharing a bedroom (which I remember doing at one point!)
Sidenote: I love all of the natural inclusion of adaptive equipment here: JJ has a giant letterboard on his bedroom wall which he can use his light to point to and talk to his siblings. We see that he seems to enjoy picking on Ray, and Ray doesn't like it.
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| {Image is: a dark background with several adjectives on it, some in yellow, some in white, all in ALL CAPS.} |
Dad is dialed into something being up with Ray and they have bonding time watching the cars careen out of the steep driveways. Ray says "That's glorious" and tells his dad he doesn't want to move. Dad hears him out and Ray insists, about their plan, "I get to be right and you get to be lazy! Our two favorite things!" Hahahaha! I love their dynamic and I love that Dad is paying attention to the fact that not all is right with Ray.
The next day, Mom and JJ go to some center for disabilities and he gets paired up with his new voice. JJ is not a fan of Mom's jokes about how "He is 16 now, it's time his voice changed." When he shakes his head and voices his disapproval, Mom says it means he is laughing, but JJ makes it clear that he is not amused. JJ asks if his new voice is cool, and then meets the most over-the-top, trying-to-be-cool cookie-cutter woman there is. She has caught up on all the lingo and read the Urban Dictionary. She wants to call JJ J-Tizzy. JJ looks horrified, and Mom cautions, "Oh, don't do that..."
Now, they are all ready for school. They meet the principal - all about inclusivity fairs and sea slugs - and then Mom inquires about the wheelchair ramp. The kids are seen using the ramp at the back of the school, which is obviously meant for trash pickup. The principal insists it's appropriate access, and not just a garbage ramp. Mom says it's a "garbage and my son ramp." And then she gives a crash course on basic human dignity. Mom tests the principal on how well she can identify the difference between trash and people. Meanwhile, Kenneth, who seems to be a groundskeeper, unassumingly drops the C word and Mom would like it deemed hate speech. (Kenneth says as the sole black person, the irony of being called intolerant is not lost on him, but being a member of one minority group does not preclude you from having harmful attitudes about someone in another minority group.)
My favorite scene is JJ getting a legitimate standing ovation for coming into class. (Think this is over the top? I once had a teacher who said, "Make way for the princess!" whenever I entered her class.) JJ's teacher instantly freaks out when he realizes that (oh my gosh!) JJ can't stand up! "THE STANDING OVATION IS INSENSITIVE!" he screams and all the kids sit down. (Do I have an example for this? You bet. High school Humanities, our zany teacher has all of us stand up to pretend to be archaic statues. Her eyes fall on me, still in my desk, and she says with a look of discomfort and mild alarm says, "Tonia, you don't have to.") They have the student with the Deaf cousin present JJ with a JJ for President banner. JJ asks why he would want him to be president as no one here even knows him. "You're an inspiration!" the kid says and JJ is in the middle of cursing him out when Disney Princess Voice Lady bails on interpreting and instead says, "He's honored and he'll think about it!" and JJ is NOT happy.
Next time we see JJ, the family is eating dinner. Disney Princess would like to leave but Dad is adamant that they have her until 6 PM. She shares that JJ has decided she sounds like a fairy godmother and has asked that she turn several students into pumpkins. JJ then picks on Ray some more and Fairy Godmother interprets and then asks JJ if his comments are necessary. Then, she refuses to say "Bibbity Bobbity Boo" while Mom and Ray are fighting because "it won't add anything to the conversation!" But Dad is there and solid in his insistence that it will, and in saying so, is insisting that Fairy Godmother do her job and not pick and choose what she will interpret for JJ and what she won't, and I love that.
Dad drives JJ and Dylan to the school fair, and he says he needs one of them to stay with the van, and asks what might be a good division of labor. JJ gives him the finger. (SO would not have flown in my house. CP or not we did NOT give Dad the finger.) Kenneth finds JJ waiting with the van and recognizes him from Mom's ramp rant. He addresses JJ and JJ immediately notes that he sounds cool and asks if he wants a job. Kenneth calls him Blindside Jr. and asks if he is hiring. JJ asks if he wants to try it out and tests Kenneth on interpreting. Kenneth not only does the job but responds to his statements. Then he asks about taking some liberties with "Stop leaning on my wheelchair!" and JJ is all about it.
JJ and Kenneth find Ray trapped on a ride at the fair by some bullies. JJ says that Ray needs help and tells Kenneth they should fight the bullies. Kenneth asks how many JJ plans to take. But JJ has an idea. He calls everybody to the stage and tells them he is running for student body president. JJ's teacher who was all freaked out about the standing ovation being insensitive yells that "THIS IS SUCH AN OPEN-MINDED COMMUNITY!" JJ and Kenneth exchange a look and Kenneth says, "You should see them on Black History Month."
Sea Slug Principal is so glad they are staying and Mom immediately tells her none of rides at the fair are accessible. (Go, Mom!) Then, everybody takes a turn on the ride Ray was on. Mom and Dylan rant together. Dad would like to stay on the ride for a week to get some quiet. Mom rides again with Ray, surprised that her kid who is scared of heights would go again. JJ and Kenneth ride together and Kenneth interprets when JJ screams in fright.
Overall, I really liked the show. I burst out laughing several times. What resonated most for me were the scenes with JJ. Him assimilating to school and coping with new (and awkward) aides. I hope to see more consistent focus on him, rather than just a scene here and there. I'd like to see him navigate school, friends, teachers and relationships. The focus is on Ray a lot for this and I would love to see JJ as more than comic relief.
I loved all the times we saw JJ out of his chair, and doing actual real human things like picking on his brother, and helping him out when he was in trouble.
Can't wait to see this when it airs for real!
Have you seen the pilot episode of Speechless? What did you think?
Thursday, September 29, 2016
Let's Talk About Speechless 1x02 "N-E NEW A-I AIDE"
1,332 words
10 minute read
YOU WOULD DO THE SAME FOR ME:
Near the end of the episode, Maya finds that JJ and Kenneth have disappeared from where they were waiting outside Principal Sea Slug's office. Maya has been planning to fire Kenneth for letting JJ play hooky from PT. Maya is alarmed, saying that JJ "needs me for that!" and rushes off to the boys' bathroom, where she hears Kenneth assisting JJ inside the accessible stall.
Kenneth reassures JJ: "It's okay, buddy, I got you," and puts him at ease. For a few seconds, we are inside the stall with Kenneth and JJ, and we are privy to a modest view of Kenneth helping JJ transfer from his chair to the toilet. Back outside with Maya, we hear Kenneth telling JJ not to make him guess next time, and not to hold it for too long otherwise there would be trouble because they had already borrowed the last pair of pants in his size from Lost and Found to impress the girls. We hear JJ laugh.
My first reaction, upon seeing a scene like this was, "YES. This is reality. This is LIFE." I thought, finally a show that will show things like transfers. We, in the disability community, are all-too-familiar with media that will not show moments like this for fear of making the able bodied audience "uncomfortable."
While I rarely required this level of assistance in the restroom, in fifth grade I was recovering from a surgery, which made using the restroom quite a bit more difficult. It was never my favorite thing. Especially, in those early days, having to trust someone new. But a calm, competent aide helps a ton.
I was glad to see that not only was Maya present in the restroom and able to hear the interaction between Kenneth and JJ (because what a vulnerable position) and as she has said earlier in the episode, his safety and basic needs are the number one priority. I also loved that the show made it clear through his actions that Kenneth did read JJ's Care Book, learning how to safely transfer him, among other things. While there were a few comical missteps (and while it's entirely unlikely that a school would hire an untrained aide) it was beyond important to show that Kenneth takes the job seriously and respects JJ.
Conversely, I wonder if there was not another way to communicate Maya's change of heart about Kenneth. It's a rather vulnerable situation, and it's not something we ever see on primetime TV. No one goes to the bathroom. We certainly are not in the stall with them while they do. This felt a bit like a combination of the Able Bodied Heroes and People as Props Common Inspiration Porn Themes happening here.
OH NO. THIS IS ALL WRONG:
The other scene I need to talk about is one that takes place earlier in the episode. In this one, JJ has disappeared with Kenneth, while his physical therapist is waiting at the house to charge the DiMeo's for "her time," regardless of if she worked with JJ or not.
So, Maya calls youngest son, Ray, in, and tells the therapist to "go" and "heal him."
Outside, the therapist has placed a single orange cone several paces away from Ray. She tells him it's okay if he can't make it all the way to the cone on the first try. Ray says, "I think I can manage it," and begins to walk.
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| [Image is: a single orange cone on pavement, like the one Ray walked to.] |
The therapist stops him, with a worried, "What are you doing??? Just walk how you normally walk."
He says, "This IS how I normally walk."
"Oh no," she says, "This is all wrong."
Then she begins to critique Ray's gait and give him specific instructions that feel (and look) awkward to execute. Upon trying to take her advice, he reaches the cone, and then turns around and screams at her, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME???" Ray is so bothered by this, we see him looking up Walking Videos on YouTube and sharing the therapists assessment with his family. Maya says everyone knows all about Ray's gait already. It's not news. Later, he talks to his crush at school and she invites him to walk her to class. He instantly tries to walk "correctly" remembering the therapists instructions, but instead hears her criticizing him. He tells his crush to go on without him and yells "WHY DID YOU MAKE ME WALK???"
I'm going to be honest and say that my first reaction to this scene was not positive. Why? Because this is our life as people with CP. But instead of letting JJ represent the reality of a scene like this (which would have resonated SO MUCH) we watched an able-bodied child cope with having his gait corrected. It felt like our experience having our natural gait critiqued and corrected did not hold weight or validity when we experience it, but only when someone nondisabled does.
While I understand it as a storytelling device, I don't think it was necessary to portray it this way.
I was just talking to a friend recently about my experience doing a gait lab as a child (after that big surgery in fifth grade.) The doctors put all these sticky things on you, you're not dressed in too much, and you're barefoot, so you're cold, and you have to contend with how the floor feels on the soles of your feet. Plus, you KNOW all these people are watching you and comparing your gait to typical people. They are judging you against impossible standards. So when we hear well-meaning comments like, "You can walk better than that," it felt so jarring.
Because yes, we COULD walk better than that. If we were dressed properly. if we were allowed to wear shoes, if we did not have weird things stuck all over our bodies, if we were not being stared at, judged, and compared to an unreachable standard.
I'm not saying the scene didn't do a great job explaining how awkward it feels to be in that experience, because it does feel just like that. And it does make you just that self-conscious about how you move in the world. But it's an experience I relate SO closely with having CP that seeing it portrayed by someone without it just felt...wrong.
I am trying to give the show the benefit of the doubt. It is one episode (and only the second ever) and we may very well see JJ in therapy one of these weeks. I know I would love to see this aspect explored more. Clearly, there was a reason JJ skipped therapy. Because this was not a one-time experience for him. This was a constant experience, probably from the time he was a toddler. And he needed a break.
I want to see those moments from his perspective. It was the reason that the standing ovation scene in the classroom in the Pilot episode was so effective. We saw JJ dealing with it, knowing it was his reality.
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