10 Big Things I've Accomplished This Decade

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I was on Twitter this morning and came across this tweet, which got me thinking about the past ten years and some of the things I've done that I am proudest of:

10.  My Second Book of Poetry Was Published (2011)

Here I am in the summer of 2011, holding my second book of published poetry.

I was a little slow to get going (nothing in 2010).  But by 2011, I was raring to go!  My second book of poetry, Some Bright Morning, was published.

9.  Personal Essay Was Published in an Anthology (2011)

One of my essays, "Playing House" was also published in the anthology, Idol Meanderings.

8. Learned to Meditate (2012)

There came a time in life when my anxiety and (let's face it, probably trauma) was shifting into high gear.  For the first time, I tried to do some self care.  For me, that looked like putting some good (mmm, orange) lotion on, lying down, and counting my breaths to 100, as I listened to the Soundscapes channel on TV.

7.  Got Training and Babysat 7 Children in Foster Care (2012-2013)

I still recall the day I spoke to a friend on the phone, and she shared the difficult time she was having finding people willing to take the training (including fingerprinting and a background check) to be cleared to take care of her foster kiddos while she worked.  I said, "Well, I can do it."  (Yes, I had to go back a second time to get re-finger-printed because CP meant that I had a hard time keeping my balance and getting an adequate print, but it all worked out.)  Today, I still think of those kids fondly and their cute questions and comments:

4-Year-Old: What's balance?  Oh.  These are my funny-crutches!  They go all by theirselves!

7-Year-Old: [Watching me scoot down the stairs]  Oh, that's so much fun!  I do that all the time! ...It would probably be more fun [for you] if you were lighter.

6.  Created Tonia Says (2014)

I still remember the night that summer when a friend on Facebook shared an article about teaching nondisabled kids to show love and respect to disabled kids.  It was written by a parent, and I found I had many differing views.  I ended up in a longer private conversation with the friend, and later, that conversation became the basis for my first blog post ever, written specifically for this site.

5.  Connected With The Disability Community (2015 - 2019)

This has happened several times over the last four years, but there is still something magical about the moment I saw my friend, Ellen Stumbo's daughter for the first time. My first connection to someone like me in almost twenty years.  Having not been around anyone with CP aside from brief weeks as a teenager, it was Like Looking in a Mirror, indeed.

4. Helped Change Disability Representation on TV (2017)

In January, 2017 it was clear that our favorite TV show, "The Fosters" set out to tell a story about how disability impacts a family.  Our favorite character, Jesus, sustained a Traumatic Brain Injury.  While I had been recapping every episode, I now asked Tara to join me, and we reviewed each episode for disability representation.  It didn't take long to see that this representation was veering down a dangerous path.  Tara and I continued to recap and share our thoughts with the writers via Twitter for more than six months.

Finally, when it seemed there was no hope left we read:  We appreciate all of your thoughts this season and we continue to discuss a new path forward for Jesus.  Consider us enlightened.  The final ten episodes of the series were different in tone.  There was a memorable scene where the parents apologized for their horrifying ableism...which, we think...is nothing short of life-saving:

3. Removed Myself From Lives of Toxic People (2017 - 2019)

Starting in 2017, I began to prioritize my own safety.  It wasn't easy.  It's still something I struggle with, at least seasonally.  ("Am I doing the right thing?  Am I a horrible person?")  But the truth is, a lot of us in the disability community face dangerous levels of ableism in our day to day life.  Ableism that's often perpetuated by those closest to us.  You have the right to leave dangerous situations.  Safe people do exist.

2.  Read 300 Books (2010 - 2019)

This is obviously an estimate, but seeing as the average number of books I've read the past two years hovers around 30, I think this is a safe approximation.  Discovered three of my all time favorites this decade (The Kindness of Strangers by Katrina Kittle, Second Glance by Jodi Picoult and ROOM by Emma Donaghue.  My favorite new read this year is definitely Know My Name by Chanel Miller!)

1.  Wrote 11 Novels (2010 - 2019)

Yes, you read that right.  I'm currently finishing up my eleventh novel in the last ten years.  These (especially the last six) are super dear to me.  I have loved working on them (especially number ten) with Tara, for most of a year.  Looking forward to finishing number eleven by the end of this month.  (Speaking of...now I actually have to stop blogging and go write chapter eleven...)

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