10 Ways a Disabled / Neurodivergent Person May Show Love

414 words

3 minute read

Disabled / neurodivergent people can and do show our love for others in all kinds of ways.  Just because we may not be all about giving or receiving love, eye contact, or any of the loads of other ways nondisabled / neurotypical people show love, it does not mean we are not showing it.  And it does not mean we're not feeling it.

Here are 10 ways we might be showing love right this minute:

[Image: A newborn baby and an older sibling lie near each other.]

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1. Adapting for you / accommodating you

2.  Waiting for you

3.  Sharing our interests with you

4.  Scripting with you

5. Listening

6. Checking in with you

7. Inviting you to join us in what we are doing

8. Making sure you have food

9. Doing an interest near you

10. Creating something and sharing it with you

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CP often comes with sensory difficulties.  Having CP means being neurodivergent.

Related:  International Day of People with Disabilities: Not All Disabilities Are Visible

A hug when we don't expect one can trigger our startle reflex or throw off our balance. Try saying, "Do you want a hug?" before you go in for one. And / or hug at predictable times and when we already feels secure and not at risk of tipping over or being startled.   Unexpected hugs and kisses are surprising and surprises feel scary to us.

Also, many of us with CP have spent a long time in hospitals, and our attachment may be impacted. Remember, there is more than one way to give and receive love. Even those of us with attachment trauma want love, it just feels like a lot sometimes.

Try smaller steps: Smile at us. Smile when you help us.  Show interest in what we love. Ask us questions about it. When we talk to you / communicate with you, show interest in what we’re saying.

Know if we come to you to show you something, or if we call out to you? That takes trust. If we come and sit near you that could mean we want to share space with you.

Trust that those of us with CP want to connect with you just as much as you do with them, it just may not look the same way it does with nondisabled / neurotypical people.

So, be on the lookout for those 10 ways and know that there are so many more things we do that communicate love.

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