1,819 words
14 minute read
TW: GIF warning
Mention of suicide attempt
Spoilers for season 2 of 13 Reasons Why
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Scenes referenced:
Alex puts his backpack on in school hallway:
2x02, 41:35 - 41:19 remaining
Alex and Clay talk on the bleachers:
2x05, 46:19 - 45:35 remaining
Alex talks to Zach about plateauing:
2x06, 20:10 - 18:14 remaining
TW for mention of suicide attempt
Alex stands on the courthouse steps:
2x12, 4:13 - 4:00 remaining
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We all have shows we marathon again and again, especially in quarantine and during a pandemic.
I never expected that 13 Reasons Why would be that show for me.
When I first watched it, honestly, my take was more along the lines of Keah Brown's in her article, "13 Reasons Why" Shows How Television Needs to Do Better With Disability.
While Tara loved the show, and has been rewatching on a loop since June, 2020. It took me until about last September to come around to appreciating it. I had to, first, figure out a way to watch safely (fast forwarding through self harm and brutal assaults / content). When I did, suddenly this world and it's characters, and why Tara loves the show so much became abundantly clear.
A big reason we love it so much -- besides the loving and the caring and the coming through for those you care about -- is actually the disability representation. While almost every character has trauma, these posts are going to focus on Alex Standall, his brain injury, relationships and related mental health topics that are portrayed.
We are also aware that while "13 Reasons Why" does a rare job at portraying an entire disabled character, not just a trope, this representation is still exceedingly white and exceedingly male. We acknowledge that there needs to be representation beyond this. We need to see multiply marginalized folks represented, too. (See Vilissa Thompson's hashtag #DisabilityTooWhite for more on this.)
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First up? Representation of Hemiparesis.
Alex survives a suicide attempt at the end of season 1, which leaves him with a brain injury that includes hemiparesis (also known as hemiplegia) which is muscle weakness and/or paralysis on one side of his body. This appears to affect Alex's left arm and left leg, but it can also affect the face.
We are really excited to delve into this content with you.
Feel free to watch along (or not -- if you do, please be safe) and join us as we unpack some of the moments that stood out the most to us.
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In 2x02 (41:35 - 41:19 left in episode), we see a brief moment of Alex adapting to put his backpack on in the hall, post brain injury. Why does this moment resonate?
TARA: It’s a powerful thing to see yourself represented on-screen. And when I saw Alex having a conversation at his locker while putting his backpack on, I saw myself. I saw adaptation being normalized, because there was no tragic music in the background or sad glances from friends.
Representation teaches us how to treat people that we don’t get the chance to interact with on a daily basis. This moment tells us, “It’s okay to do things in a different way. It’s okay if it takes a little more time.” We see that we don’t need to make a big deal if we see someone doing an adaptive movement. That it’s okay to interact as usual in these moments.
TONIA: Same. I love seeing moments like these represented on screen. They remind me of how I was taught to put on my coat. (To lay it open, upside down, on my desk, take it by the arm holes, and flip it over my head.) As an eight-year-old, there was nothing subtle about it, and there were lots of jokes about me accidentally hitting kids with my jacket. (I hope I didn't! If I did, I'm sorry.)
This moment is even better because it's so normalized, like you're saying, Tara.
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| [Image: Alex, on the bleachers. We see his brace and his cane. He uses his right hand to put his earbuds around his neck.] |
In 2x05 (46:19 - 45:35 left in episode), Clay finds Alex on the bleachers during school and says, “Isn’t this your special resources period?” Alex responds: “Yeah, I hate that shit.”
This is one of the only references to how school has changed for Alex. Can we talk about how accommodations framed as special treatment make us resentful?
TONIA: While I can’t relate to having a sudden shift (from no accommodations to accommodations) I did always resent needing them in school, because I knew how they were viewed by my peers. And a lot of times, I had to get accommodations through a really ableist source. Someone who spoke to me really condescendingly, or was shocked when I succeeded really well in a certain area.
What about you, Tara? Do you think Alex’s view of his accommodations is realistic? Why or why not?
TARA: Acquiring a disability such as a brain injury is difficult for many reasons. One of those reasons is a loss of once automatic skills, and the effort it takes to attempt to regain them. So, you’re grieving the loss of your former identity and the loss of these skills. And then, you’ve got to deal with the stigma of having a special time of day devoted to all that you’re simultaneously grieving and working to regain, while also struggling to accept who you are and what you can or can’t do right this minute. It’s a lot.
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In 2x06 (20:10 - 18:14 left in episode, TW for mention of suicide attempt), Alex has been told he is “plateauing.” He describes it saying that “after six months, no matter how hard you work, your body just settles into being broken forever.”
We see his depression here. He says he is “useless”.
Is this accurate? Why or why not?
TONIA: I’m not sure if I’m the one to comment on accuracy here, but it does seem (from what I know) that the medical community feels that there is some kind of time limit on optimal healing after a brain injury.
Tara, I’d love to know your thoughts. Is this accurate? (Both the medical pronouncement and Alex’s feelings.) Why or why not?
TARA: Twenty-some years ago when I had my brain injury, the common understanding was that the window of improvement after an injury closed after two years. I’m not sure how the medical community has changed since then, but Alex hearing from his doctor that he is plateauing doesn’t surprise me. I think, from an insurance standpoint, large improvements justify continued care. Small improvements are often not deemed worth the money.
Alex’s depression, grief and anger are all extremely real. Feeling useless is a huge piece of internalized ableism, thanks to a society that so highly values productivity as a sign of worth.
There is next to no normalization or media representation of a worthwhile disabled life post-brain injury, so it makes sense that at this point in Alex’s healing, he views his body as broken.
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There’s a brief moment on the courthouse steps in 2x12 (4:13 - 4:00 left in episode), where Alex is seen in a wide shot, just standing on the stairs in the midst of a huge crowd of people.
Can we talk about what we notice here?
TARA: I think my exact words were, “That is the most nondisabled thing I’ve seen [from Alex] in the whole series [post-injury].”
TONIA: Yes! Once you pointed it out, I noticed he was really at ease. Like, probably too at ease for the situation.
TARA: The relaxed posture! Not leaning on the railing or needing anyone for support!
TONIA: I don’t use a cane but as someone who used crutches, I’d be thinking about how I could navigate those stairs safely (and likely be exhausted from standing so still.)
In Alex’s place, I might hand off the cane to a trusted person, so I could use the railing (more stable) to navigate down the stairs.
TARA: Being that it is a new injury for Alex, and that he is a new cane user, it does make sense to me that he might inadvertently get stuck in a situation like this - but as I mentioned, the body posture of the actor in my opinion makes for an unrealistic portrayal of this tiny moment.
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Knowing that Alex is not played by an actor with a brain injury, how do we feel about his portrayal of hemiparesis overall? Does it feel accurate / respectful? Why or why not?
TARA: To be fair, as of 2021, this is the only portrayal of hemiparesis that I’ve ever seen on screen. (I’ve seen some portrayals of cane use post-brain injury, but never hemiparesis.)
TONIA: This is such a good point, and one I hadn’t realized. Go on...
TARA: I definitely believed Miles Heizer’s portrayal. I enjoyed seeing him adapt on-screen, especially in Season 2. These small but seamless moments meant a lot. In my opinion, it was extremely accurate because it felt authentic. And I think this helped the representation to also feel respectful.
TONIA: That’s so cool. I’m glad you get to see yourself respectfully (and authentically) represented here. I know what a big deal it is.
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How much influence do we think the writing had on the representation overall?
TONIA: I think the writing must have had a lot to do with it. I can only find one interview with Miles Heizer about his portrayal of Alex post-injury, and he mentions talking to medical professionals, and the use of the leg brace as being helpful. But there is no indication that he spoke with anybody living with a brain injury for insight.
Because of that, I do feel like the writing must have come from a personal place. (I know, for example, Nic Sheff wrote episodes having to do with addiction.) So there’s a precedent for #OwnVoices (so to speak) to exist in the writer’s room. I think a lot of the authenticity and respect must have started with the writing.
What do you think, Tara?
TARA: This is a question I’ve asked myself a lot: “How much of respectful representation lies in the writing?” And I’ve come to believe that the answer must be, “Quite a bit.”
The lack of a melodramatic soundtrack during Alex’s emotional moments, the room for a nuanced performance, the fact that we got to see a brain-injured character for three whole seasons with love interests - and he didn't get cured or have his disability forgotten about - these are all rare and pretty amazing things!
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Have you seen 13 Reasons Why on Netflix?
Did reading our conversation about the representation of hemiparesis help you realize anything or notice anything you hadn't registered before?
We'd love to hear from you in the comments.
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