1,711 words
13 minute read
TW: GIF Warning
2x01, 39:44 - 37:26 remaining
TW: reference to suicide note
2x04, 39:12 - 37:47 remaining
TW: allusion to suicide attempt
2x04, 20:39 - 18:00 remaining
TW: PTSD flashback while kissing
2x13, 44:16 - 42:54 remaining
TW: sanist language, reference to being at a wake
2x13, 22:09 - 21:41 remaining
2x13, 21:04 - 20:46 remaining
2x13, 19:00 - 18:40 remaining
***
Alex’s relationship with classmate Jessica (both friendship and romantic) is central to his story. We saw them interact briefly in Alex's birthday but here is our chance to really delve into their bond.
We catch up with Alex and Jessica about four months after his suicide attempt and her disclosure to her dad that she has been raped. Both have been out of school for these past months and both are eager to get “going back” over with.
In large part, because they plan to do it together.
***
In 2x01, Alex and Jessica go back to school on the same day. They cope by joking about who is being stared at more.
Why is it important to see moments like this represented, from the point of view of the person with a disability?
TONIA: I think, traditionally, in the media, we see scenes like this from the POV of nondisabled people. We’d see Alex as the outsider. Through a lens of pity. Instead we see what it feels like to be stared at in this way. We see how Alex (and Jessica) cope with what’s happening to them. They are the center of their own story, and that’s how it always should be.
Coming back to school after a major medical event is hard! You know you're about to be the center of attention for all the wrong reasons, and you're in so much pain, you can't even care. I know that having you by my side when we went back to school was helpful.
***
Let’s also talk about “passing” in this scene.
TARA: Alex has a traumatic brain injury, and Jessica is implied to have PTSD. While Alex’s injury is certainly a disability, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a psychological injury that has the potential to be disabling.
Alex’s injury is impossible to hide. Jessica says, “You have a cane and a scar.” His disability is visible at this point in the series.
About Jessica, Alex says, “You’re pretty and sad.” We see that Jessica has the privilege and curse of “passing” as nondisabled. She’s presumably free of some of the ableism that visibly disabled people like Alex encounter. But she also deals with the minimization of a valid medical condition and its associated struggles, as well as additional marginalization due to racism.
 |
| [Image: Alex and Jessica walk into school side by side. Alex says: "We're going to hell for joking about this."] |
In 2x04, Alex and Jessica skip school together. They start their day at the movie theater, where Alex recalls an exchange months earlier (pre-brain injury) with friend, Hannah. Jessica finds him sitting down after she gets snacks. She asks if he’s okay. He says, “Yeah, just tired,” with a motion to his brace.
Jessica knows something else is bothering him, so she sits too. They have a heart-to-heart. When they’re finished, he asks, “Will you help me up?”
People may not realize asking for help is a huge act of trust and requires disabled people to be super vulnerable. Having friends who know us deeply and who we can trust to help us physically is a big deal.
Do we want to say more about this?
TARA: I loved seeing Alex feeling comfortable enough with Jessica to admit to being tired. Sharing about our physical (or cognitive) limits requires a huge level of vulnerability. That Jessica accepts this and also knows that something else is bothering Alex is just lovely representation.
TONIA: Many disabled people -- myself included -- have been harmed in the name of someone “helping” me. The respect Jessica shows Alex here by not grabbing him without asking, not insisting she help, but instead taking his cues is so important to see represented.
Because we have seen a lot of the opposite in Alex’s other relationships.
TARA: Alex actually asks Jessica for assistance -- a huge act of trust! This, again, is a vulnerable moment for Alex that is portrayed in a matter-of-fact way that does not exploit him for pity.
***
Later, Jessica and Alex decide to wade in the ocean. To do this, Alex accepts Jessica’s help removing his shoe and his brace. He then accepts her support to wade in.
TONIA: Again, seeing this represented feels huge. The respectful, consensual help. The way Jessica supports and helps Alex in the way he needs and that he can trust her to support him and not (for example) leave him stranded out there if they were to have a disagreement.
TARA: We hear enough of the scene to know that Alex consents to some part of having Jessica remove his brace and shoe. She apologizes as she somehow pulls both off at the same time.
Later in this scene, after they wade into the water, they tentatively kiss each other. It’s presumably his first kiss post-brain injury as well as her first kiss following the realization of her sexual assault. Jessica recoils after experiencing a flashback. Alex apologizes, but Jess clarifies, “It’s not you…” We see Alex as desirable while being visibly physically disabled -- a very rare thing in media representation.
***
In the same episode, Alex and Jessica discuss TBI and PTSD while at the ocean. Alex says “It’s like you’re living in a stranger’s body,” and Jess adds, “and mind, sometimes.” Alex nods.
What do we want to say about this scene?
TONIA: I think it’s really good to see Alex able to connect with Jessica. Often, in these posts, the social interactions Alex has are fraught with ableism, but this is a moment when he and Jessica just seem to “get” each other. It’s also really respectful -- with neither one trying to make a false equivalency between TBI and PTSD.
Instead, Jessica shares her experiences and Alex can nod and confirm, “Yes, it’s like this for me, too.” And then, elaborate a bit.
It’s just really nice to see.
TARA: Personally, I was floored by the accuracy of the dialogue.
Jessica remembered when she was told about Alex’s likely deficits after his injury: “[They said you wouldn’t] even be you anymore.”
Alex responded, “Well, the jury’s still out on that one,” speaking to the identity loss that can happen following a brain injury.
And then, Jessica’s monologue about having “this body,” which you alluded to earlier, Tonia. That description of a body-mind disconnect, of depersonalization, felt especially real and hit home for me.
TONIA: Yes! I didn’t want to overstep or assume, but Alex talking about “being in a stranger’s body” did feel like he was referring to depersonalization.
***
In episode 2x13, we see something quite remarkable -- an entire arc depicting a disabled teen (Alex) at a dance with Jessica. There’s a lot to unpack here. Do we want to share some of the things that stand out to us?
TONIA: I think, generally speaking, just the difference in the representation is stark. Most representation around disabled teens at school dances that I’ve seen involves the disabled person reluctant to go to a dance because they don’t want to sit out, or a disabled teen being forced to spend a dance sitting -- explicitly told they could not dance.
While my single experience at a middle school dance did echo that of the disabled character who was on the outside, I really enjoyed seeing Alex not only go to the dance, but enjoy himself there.
We see him before the dance, experiencing the same kinds of feelings and fears as other kids his age -- nervous to ask Jessica out -- but finally working up the courage.
TARA: There’s a brief moment where we see Alex and Jessica on the sidelines, because Alex says he “has to work up to” dancing. Jessica respects this -- and eventually, they do end up dancing. Really lovely.
TONIA: Yes! I love that we see stamina and / or self confidence issues represented here, because they are very real!
We see him joke about bedazzling his cane for the occasion and we see him gain confidence through the evening, enjoying the sugary punch and eventually, as you were saying Tara, slow dancing with Jessica.
To me, all of this stands out in and of itself because it is so unremarkable.
TARA: Yes! I enjoyed these scenes because they were so unremarkable, while also not ignoring Alex’s disability.
TONIA: Definitely! We don’t often see disabled kids portrayed as desirable, adapting to a situation and just having fun and being kids.
Much of disabled storylines center around pain and suffering and exclusion, but the opposite can be true, too.
And I am so glad “13” chose to show that.
***
Alex and Jessica were friends first who started dating in Season 1 (prior to Alex’s injury). They broke up before his suicide attempt and then reconnected after it, dating into Season 3. They eventually break up for good, but they remain friends.
How did their romantic relationship grow and / or evolve over time? Did you like the representation?
TONIA: I think it’s interesting and good to see that Alex is still desirable to Jessica (and vice versa) after what they’ve each been through. Often, these types of storylines happen and a breakup will occur because someone has a disability, and the partner does not know how to accept that or adapt, but Alex and Jessica figure out how to adapt. They talk deeply about how their circumstances changed them.
And their breakup had little to do with Alex’s TBI, which was refreshing to see.
TARA: Throughout their romantic relationship, it was obvious that they were friends who understood each other, first and foremost. I liked seeing them both being able to safely explore intimacy with each other after having experienced their own traumas.
TONIA: Yes, that in itself is super rare. I love that they had a solid friendship and a lot of trust. That’s huge.
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