Unpacking "I Can't": An Interview with Emily Ball

327 words

3 minute read

I'm seriously loving this "I Can't" series.

This week, I'm sharing Emily Ball's responses to these questions and I've got to say, I love her response to the risks and vulnerabilities question.  Be sure to check that out, as well as the rest of her responses.

Here's what she has to say:

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Were you allowed to say “I can’t” when you were growing up?

EMILY:  No.  I mean, I did, but it was met with variants of “Yes, you can!”

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What do you mean as a person with a disability when you say, “I can’t?” (Are there cultural nuances to the phrase that get misunderstood?)

EMILY:  I mean that I physically cannot do something because it is too physically tiring, or I am literally unable to perform said task.

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What risks or vulnerabilities exist in saying “I can’t” as a disabled person?

EMILY: …You risk being told to perform [a] task again to prove yourself. You have people watching you, so you feel “on” in a sense.

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Do you have any memories of saying or wanting to say, “I can’t?” How was this limit received? 

EMILY: Yes, and it was received [with a] brush off, such as “Sure you can, never say never!” etc.

[Emily smiles for the camera]

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What message was conveyed to you because of moments like this? 

EMILY: That I should try to conform to [be] seen as able as possible.

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Have your experiences contributed to the way you set or struggle to set boundaries?

EMILY: Yes absolutely. I struggle because I feel as if others expect things of me and if I can’t / [don’t] want to conform, I’ve failed.

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Anything more you’d like to add?

EMILY: Sure. Never tell other adults “Please don’t distract so-and-so” [when a disabled person says they can’t do something], because I [was] always internally begging for a distraction - there’s only so much we can tolerate.

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Connect with Emily

@EmilyEmily317