Books I've Read in 2020: 86-90

 566 words

4 minute read

86.

Genre: Children's > Picture Books

Disability Representation: No.

Rating: 4/4 (LOVED it!)

Excerpt of GoodReads Summary: There are many reasons to feel different. Maybe it's how you look or talk, or where you're from; maybe it's what you eat, or something just as random. It's not easy to take those first steps into a place where nobody really knows you yet, but somehow you do it.

What I Thought: WOW!  I loved this one.  If you get a chance you should definitely check it out.  (Available on Bookmarks on Netflix, if you can't get the book another way.)

***

87.

Genre: Children's > Picture Books

Disability Representation: No.

Rating: 2/4 (LOVED it!)

Excerpt of GoodReads Summary: Antiracist Baby introduces the youngest readers and the grown-ups in their lives to the concept and power of antiracism. Providing the language necessary to begin critical conversations at the earliest age, Antiracist Baby is the perfect gift for readers of all ages dedicated to forming a just society.

What I Thought: This was very different.  The messages were really good, though.

***

88.

Genre: Children's > Picture Books

Disability Representation: Yes (one wheelchair-user pictured.)

Rating: 3/4 (Really liked it!)

Excerpt of GoodReads Summary: On August 28, 1963, a remarkable event took place--more than 250,000 people gathered in our nation's capital to participate in the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom. The march began at the Washington Monument and ended with a rally at the Lincoln Memorial, where Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his historic "I Have a Dream" speech, advocating racial harmony. Many words have been written about that day, but few so delicate and powerful as those presented here by award-winning author and illustrator Shane W. Evans. When combined with his simple yet compelling illustrations, the thrill of the day is brought to life for even the youngest reader to experience.

What I Thought: I really liked this book.  It was super effective and the art made it clear that it was historical.  

***

89.

Genre: Children's Fiction

Disability Representation: No.

Rating: 3/4 (Really liked it)

Excerpt of GoodReads Summary: What's the bestest job ever? A beauty shop guy, that's what! And Junie B. Jones is going to be one when she grows up. But first she needs a little practice. And a few volunteers. Like her bunny slippers. And her dog. And maybe even...herself? Is Junie B. on her way to a great new career? Or is she about to have the worst hair day ever?

What I Thought: I'm not gonna lie.  This one was super enjoyable.  I loved the focus on Junie B. herself and her problem-solving skills.  I loved how understanding Mrs. was.

***

90.

Genre: Nonfiction

Disability Representation: Yes (CP.)

Rating: 2/4 (Liked it)

Excerpt of GoodReads Summary:  In fairy tales, happy endings are the norm—as long as you're beautiful and walk on two legs. After all, the ogre never gets the princess. And since fairy tales are the foundational myths of our culture, how can a girl with a disability ever think she'll have a happy ending?

What I Thought: This book was a bit dense for me, a casual Disney fairytale lover.  But I'm always glad to read books by authors with CP and I'm glad I read it.  Check out my Twitter thread on Disfigured for more thoughts.  

***

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We Belong: Chapter 37

300 words

2 minute read

DO YOU LOVE US?

(Lexie)

It’s taken Mom a few minutes to get all settled in a chair between Jesse and me.  Finally, she asks, “What’s up, buttercups?”

By now, I’ve almost lost my courage.  But Jesse hasn’t.

“Lexie wants to know if you’re disappointed in us?” he asks, looking at her like he’s searching her.

Mom blinks.  “What?  With what?”

“With our surgery…” I admit.  “I heard you crying and telling uncle Craig that you just expected more and it’s been so hard…  Mom, we’re working as hard as we can,” I insist.  “I promise.”

“Oh, honey.  I know you are,” Mom says.  “I was talking to uncle Craig about something else.  Something that didn’t have anything to do with you and Jesse.”

“Like what?” I ask, skeptical.

“My friends back home,” Mom tells her, surprising both of us. 

“Your bowling friends?” Jesse asks.

“Right,” Mom nods.  “They haven’t been keeping in touch as much now and that disappointed me.  I expected more from them.  I know you two are always doing your best.”

“Do you love us?” I check.  Sometimes I know Mom does, and sometimes I’m not sure.  So, I have to ask.

[Image: Three decorative hearts - one big and two small]

“I love you both so much, you wouldn’t believe it,” Mom promises, kissing them both on the heads.

I breathe out a big sigh of relief.

“Thanks so much for talking to them,” Mom says to Emma.  “We should have you over sometime,” she invites.

Jesse and I both cheer.

Return to the Table of Contents

Question for Discussion:

Have you ever felt like Lexie?  Like sometimes you know your parent loves you and sometimes you have to check to see if it's true?  

***

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Books I've Read in 2020: 81-85

397 words

3 minute read

81.

Genre:  Children's > Picture Books

Disability Representation: No.

Rating: 4/4 (LOVED it!)

Excerpt of GoodReads Summary: Join the fun as a baby boy discovers the unique features that make his face so special in Pretty Brown Face.

What I Thought: SUCH an important book for the babies.  I loved it.

***

82.

Genre: Children's > Picture Books

Disability Representation: Yes (one boy in a wheelchair!)

Rating: 4/4 (LOVED it!)

Excerpt of GoodReads Summary: This book is filled with all the things little brown boys love.

What I Thought: Great illustrations and an important story!

***

83.

Genre: Children's > Picture Books

Disability Representation: No.

Rating: 4/4 (LOVED it!)

Excerpt of GoodReads Summary: In her debut picture book, Misty Copeland tells the story of a young girl--an every girl--whose confidence is fragile and who is questioning her own ability to reach the heights that Misty has reached. Misty encourages this young girl's faith in herself and shows her exactly how, through hard work and dedication, she too can become Firebird.

What I Thought: As a dance fan, I LOVED this one!

***

84.

Genre: Children's > Picture Books

Disability Representation: No.

Rating: 1/4 (It was OK)

Excerpt of GoodReads Summary: Julius Lester says, "I write because our lives are stories. If enough of those stories are told, then perhaps we will begin to see that our lives are the same story. The differences are merely in the details." Now Mr. Lester shares his own story as he explores what makes each of us special. Karen Barbour's dramatic, vibrant paintings speak to the heart of Lester's unique vision, truly a celebration of all of us.

What I Thought: Hearing this read aloud, I found I could not tell what was text from the book and what was commentary.

***

85.

Genre: Children's Fiction

Disability Representation: No.

Rating: 2/4 (Liked it)

Excerpt of GoodReads Summary: Meet the World’s Funniest Kindergartner—Junie B. Jones! Lucille is having a sleepover party—at her richie nanna’s big giant house! Grace and Junie B. can’t wait to see all the rich stuff in that place. Sleeping over at the nanna’s is sure to be a dream come true! ’Cause what could possibly go wrong?

What I Thought: This was a pretty enjoyable one!  Junie B. was extra funny and I love all the grandma love.

***

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Books I've Read in 2020: 76-80

580 words

5 minute read

76.

Genre:  Middle Grade Fiction

Disability Representation: No.

Rating: 1/4 (It was OK)

Excerpt of GoodReads Summary: Luke Martinez, one of the BSC's newest charges, acts like he doesn't trust his sitters. He's definitely hiding something from them, and he seems afraid to let anyone discover his secret. But Mary Anne and the BSC plan to do just that. They think Luke's secret holds the answer to a mysterious fire at his house...and information that could help stop a mean developer from taking over Stoneybrook. Can they win Luke's trust before it is too late?

What I Thought: I wasn't a super big fan of this book.  I was expecting the silent witness to be more...silent, I guess?  I'm a big fan of a good procedural but this book seemed quite heavy on the info and sort of read like the author had a bunch of puzzle pieces and was going to make darn sure they all fit together...even though their protagonists are 11 and 13 years old...and unlikely to jump to every single one of the right conclusions...

***

77.

Genre:  Children's > Picture Books

Disability Representation: No.

Rating: 4/4 (LOVED it!)

Excerpt of GoodReads Summary: The barbershop is where the magic happens. Boys go in as lumps of clay and, with princely robes draped around their shoulders, a dab of cool shaving cream on their foreheads, and a slow, steady cut, they become royalty. That crisp yet subtle line makes boys sharper, more visible, more aware of every great thing that could happen to them when they look good: lesser grades turn into As; girls take notice; even a mother's hug gets a little tighter. Everyone notices.

What I Thought: This is just...I don't think I've ever read a book like this.  It feels very important, and I really loved it.

***

78.

Genre:  Children's > Picture Books

Disability Representation: No.

Rating: 4/4 (LOVED it!)

Excerpt of GoodReads Summary: Sulwe has skin the color of midnight. She is darker than everyone in her family. She is darker than anyone in her school. Sulwe just wants to be beautiful and bright, like her mother and sister. Then a magical journey in the night sky opens her eyes and changes everything.

What I Thought: I've wanted to read this book forever, and it did not disappoint.  Such an important story about identity and beauty.  Moving.  Stunning.  And beautifully illustrated.

***

79.

Genre:  Children's > Picture Books

Disability Representation: No.

Rating: 2/4 (Liked it)

Excerpt of GoodReads Summary: The book goes through 26 girls, A to Z, whose accomplishments should motivate and inspire not only black girls but all girls to change the world.

What I Thought: This was a great book  - simple and straightforward - a great way to let kids know about Black women and girls and their accomplishments.

***

80.

Genre:  Children's > Picture Books

Disability Representation: No.

Rating: 2/4 (Liked it!)

Excerpt of GoodReads Summary: I Am Perfectly Designed is an exuberant celebration of loving who you are, exactly as you are, from Karamo Brown, the Culture Expert of Netflix's hit series Queer Eye. In this empowering ode to modern families, a boy and his father take a joyful walk through the city, discovering all the ways in which they are perfectly designed for each other.

What I Thought: This was a sweet story about a father and son getting to know each other and sharing experiences together.

***

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We Belong: Chapter 36

938 words

7  minute read

ABOUT BELONGING

(Jesse)

TW: Internalized Ableism

At church the next day, it’s so obvious that Lexie and I are fighting that the Sunday school teacher comes to talk to us right away.  

[Image: A white church in the snow]

We've been back here a few more times, but Lexie hasn't told me if she's gotten to ask Emma any questions about CP.  I haven't asked because we're always around kids in Sunday school (including Sophia) so I can't.  I also haven't told Sophia I can't be in her club anymore...when I sort of promised Mom I wouldn't be...and when it's basically ruining everything with Lexie.

By now, I’m using crutches and Lexie has her walker.  But we both still get tired fast.  But Lexie won’t look at me and that means I can’t get any messages to her when we’re  around other people, since I can’t talk then.

Right away, I see what Lexie means by Emma walking like us.  And having crutches like Lexie.  It kind of makes me embarrassed that Emma comes over to us.  I don’t want extra attention for being different.

“Hey, guys,” Emma greets.  “Need to talk?”

“Yes,” Lexie agrees.  

Emma talks to Mom quietly.  Mom nods her head and Emma does, too.  Finally Emma and Lexie are going toward a room on the side of the sanctuary, where the parents usually go with babies who cry a lot.  It has a sliding door like a deck door so people can see in, but they can’t hear through it, so there’s privacy.

I follow, and I’m almost afraid Lexie is going to push me out, but she leaves the door open to one of the rooms that’s not being used.

“What’s up?” Emma asks, once she’s sitting down.  Once we all are.

“Do you have CP?” I ask, surprising all of them, but sometimes, it’s easier to talk to just one new person at a time, especially if it’s an adult, like Evan, my nurse at the hospital.  I’m still nervous talking to people, just not to Emma, not right now.  “I know, it’s kinda rude to ask, but I have it, too.”

“I do, yeah,” Emma nods.

“Me, too,” Lexie agrees.  There’s quiet for a minute and then she blurts out, “Jesse joined a secret club with our cousins, and one of them kept calling me names and saying I could never even join.”

“Oh. That sounds hard,” Emma comments.  She looks at me.  “You wanted to join their club?”

I nod, miserable.

“Why?” Emma asks.  “It sounds like one of your cousins isn’t very nice.”

“Well, our other cousins - our main friends - they joined.  I don’t have that many friends.  I didn’t wanna lose them.”

“Neither do I…” Lexie speaks up, hurt.

“Yeah, but everybody likes you.  You make friends so easily!” I say.

“People are nice to me.  Sometimes.  They talk to me.  But that doesn’t make us friends.  I thought you got that,” Lexie explains.

“No,” I admit.  “It’s hard for me to make friends.  Hard for me to talk, even.  I just wanted to fit in.  Be like everybody else.”

“Your cousin…  Did she let you in for free?  Or were there things you had to do?” Emma asks.

“Give her my candy, and not eat any.  Talk.  And get all the way better from surgery.  So I wouldn’t need anything to help me walk,” I share.

“How did that feel?” Emma wonders.  “Did it feel like they accepted you for who you are?”

“No, it felt bad.  Like I wasn’t good enough,” Jesse tells them.  “But I still wanted to.  Even though Sophia talked bad about Lexie.  And was mean to me.”  I wipe my eyes.  “I’m horrible,” I decide.

“No,” Emma answers kindly.  “You’re human.  Humans need connection. We need community.  People like us, so we know we’re not alone in the world.  You two have each other, but sometimes it can help to see there are more of us.”

“Like you?” Lexie asks soft.

Emma nods.

“Hey…  Did your mom ever feel disappointed in you after you had a surgery?” Lexie asks Emma.

“Wow…” Emma answers.  “I’m honestly not sure.  But if you’re feeling that way, and if you feel safe talking to your Mom about it, you should.”

“What if she really is disappointed in us?” I worry.

“What I’m about to tell you is a really hard thing to learn, and it’s harder to remember: You are enough, just the way you are right now.  Our CP is a part of us, and we shouldn’t have to change it, or hide it.  Our anxiety,” (here, she looks at me) “is a real thing, and we need support and kindness, not threats. Not being left out.”

“That’s not an answer,” Lexie points out.

“Well, if your mom is disappointed in you, know that her feeling is about her.  And know that you have people who do accept and love you for all of who you are - CP included.”

“Like who?” I ask.

“Like me,” Lexie tells me.

“And me,” Emma chimes in.  “The important thing is to find your people, and let them build you up.”

“Kids,” Mom calls softly.

I see Lexie raise her eyebrows at Emma.

Emma waves Mom inside.  She shuts the door behind her.

Return to the Table of Contents

Question for Discussion:

Emma says it's important to know there are people out there who love Jesse and Lexie for all of who they are - CP included.  Who loves you for all of who you are - including your disabilit(ies)?

***

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Books I've Read in 2020: 71-75

588 words

5 minute read

71.

Genre:  Memoir

Disability Representation:  No (but definitely some ableism - some acknowledged and apologized for, some not.  One-time use of the R-word as an adjective.)

Rating: 2/4 (Liked it!)

Excerpt of GoodReads Summary:  Navigating through youth and young adulthood isn't easy, and in Sorry Not Sorry, Naya Rivera shows us that we're not alone in the highs, lows, and in-betweens. Whether it's with love and dating, career and ambition, friends, or gossip, Naya inspires us to follow our own destiny and step over--or plod through--all the crap along the way. After her rise and fall from early childhood stardom, barely eking her way through high school, a brief stint as a Hooters waitress, going through thick and thin with her mom/manager, and resurrecting her acting career as Santana Lopez on Glee, Naya emerged from these experiences with some key life lessons...

What I Thought: I read this when it was first released in 2016, and have known I wanted to reread since Naya's untimely death in July.  I was glad I did.  She was a force - and an honest one, at that.  Honest about mistakes she made, and things she was proud of.  I enjoyed rereading this.  (We miss you, Naya.)

***

72.

Genre:  Children's Fiction

Disability Representation:  No.

Rating: 3/4 (Really liked it!)

Excerpt of GoodReads Summary:  Meet the World’s Funniest Kindergartner—Junie B. Jones! Junie B. knows there’s no such thing as monsters. Mother and Daddy even said so. But then why is there monster drool on Junie B.’s pillow? Oh, no! What if Paulie Allen Puffer is right—what if she really does have a monster under her bed? If Junie B. goes to sleep, the monster might see her feet hanging down. And he might think her piggy toes are yummy little wiener sausages!

What I Thought: I really liked this one!  Particularly the way that the adults in Junie B's world took her fears seriously and tried to help.  My favorite thing was that Junie B. ultimately figured out a way to self-soothe and cope in a safe way that works for her.

***

73.

Genre:  Children's > Picture Books

Disability Representation:  No.

Rating: 4/4 (LOVED it!)

Excerpt of GoodReads Summary:  No matter how gently Mama pulls as she combs Keyana's hair, it still hurts. Keyana doesn't feel lucky to have such a head of hair, but Mama tells her she is because she can wear it any way she chooses.

What I Thought: This one was so beautifully written and illustrated.  I loved the story and the pictures so much!

***

74.

Genre:  Children's > Picture Books

Disability Representation:  Yes (a wheelchair user is pictured twice!)

Rating: 2/4 (Liked it!)

Excerpt of GoodReads Summary:  This is a gorgeous, lyrical ode to loving who you are, respecting others, and being kind to one another—from Empire actor and activist Grace Byers and talented newcomer artist Keturah A. Bobo.

What I Thought: A sweet book with a great message!

***

75.

Genre:  Children's Fiction

Disability Representation:  No.

Rating: 2/4 (Liked it!)

Excerpt of GoodReads Summary: When Junie B. searches for her missing mittens, she discovers that they are not in the Lost and Found, but a wonderful pen is. It's only right that she should get to keep it, right?

What I Thought: I liked this one.  Especially when Grandpa Frank Miller told Junie B. the story of how his wallet was returned and it moved Junie B. to do the right thing on her own.

***

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We Belong: Chapter 35

481 words

4 minute read

LEFT OUT

(Jesse)

It’s not until that night, when we’re supposed to be asleep that I figure it out.  

Before Lexie can fake sleep, I toss Carrot-Breath at her.  I make him say “Bombs away!” and he lands right by her face.  She smiles and then looks like she might cry.

“That’s not fair.  You tricked me.”

“I’m sorry,” I say.  Because I really, really am.  For whatever I did that is making Lexie so sad.

“You don’t even know what you did,” she grumbles, not looking at me.  It’s still light out and I can see her ignoring me and facing the wall.

“I know I did something,” I try.  “But our twin mind reading only works sometimes.  It doesn’t work every single time.”  (That’s a joke, mostly.  We don’t have mind reading powers, but sometimes we do think about the same thing at the same time and say it together.)

“You shouldn’t have to read my mind.  You should just know.  You should just know that being in a club that keeps me out and makes fun of me is mean and rude!”

“Kids…  Keep it down in there,” Dad warns.  He’s not mad, but he doesn’t like repeating himself.

“I didn’t know you cared,” I say quietly.

“Of course I do!  I get left out all the time, Jesse.  But I never thought I’d have to worry about you leaving me out.”

“Jesse and Lexie,” Dad says in a sing-song voice he uses when he is trying to be serious and failing.  “Don’t make me come in there or I’m singing you a lullaby…”

[Image: A treble clef and birds with music notes on telephone wires]

Did I mention Dad has the worst voice ever in the whole world?  His lullabies used to make Seth cry.  I don’t even laugh, though, because Lexie is upset and that really is serious.

“Connor and Shane left both of us out,” I argue.  “Why aren’t you mad at them?”

“Because,” Lexie hisses.  Her voice sounds like she might start crying.  “Connor and Shane didn’t know we’d be left out when they joined!  You knew Sophia was going to leave me out and you joined anyway.”

“...I wanted to fit in,” I admit softly.  

“Well, so do I…  I want to fit in more than anything in the whole world.  So it’s really not fair that you would do the same thing everybody else does.  Like you’re embarrassed by me…”

“I’m not!” I argue.  

I can hear Lexie sniffling, and her voice breaks.  “You’re just as bad as Sophia…”

“Lex…” I try again.  “I’m not embarrassed…”

“Then prove it,” she says, and doesn’t talk to me the rest of the night.

Return to the Table of Contents

Question for Discussion:

Do you think Jesse's embarrassed of Lexie?  Why or why not?

***

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